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Star Salzman's CrapJournal

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06/03/04 01:46:07 - Love is Absolute

Love is absolute, damnit.
I know this is going to make me sound like
a crazy hippy, but I think love is constant,
only expression is variable, and decided by

Here's an example:

I love my close male friends. Usually I express
my love for them by letting them know that
they are great friends, helping them with problems,
maybe a hug here and there, etc. In european
countries, however, men kiss eachother on the cheek,
and stuff. Now, that sort of thing would probably make
me a tad uncomfortable, but that's only because society
has ingrained a strong homophobic tendency into my head.

Fair enough, but here's where the problem comes in.

I love my close female friends. Now, for me, since
love is absolute, and constant, I want to be as close
to them as possible. Let us assume that becoming closer
and more important to someone rests on a continuum based
on society's take on relationships. For example, a
"boyfriend" is closer than a "friend" and a "husband" is
closer than a boyfriend.

Now, given that paradigm, it becomes very complicated.
It's not as if when you love someone, and want to be closer
to them, you can say, "Hey Sally, I wish to grow closer to you,
through means of physical affection such as holding hands
and hugging, perhaps kissing on occassion!" You have to make a
jump to the next level on this relationship ladder(at least for
every day, normal people). The problem is, if the affection
is not returned for whatever reason, sometimes it gets
rather difficult to return to the lower rung of the ladder,
i.e. Friend from attempted boyfriend.

The inherent problem with modern relationship dynamics
is that society likes to keep friends and "more than friends"
on a very very clearly defined, separate basis.

This leaves ME, personally, in a rather awkward position.
I value my friendships so much that I wouldnt dare jeopardize
them by trying too hard to move them to the next level. It's
almost as if I'd have to immediately jump to hitting on people
I don't already care about in order to secure that kind of closeness,
which is absolutely bonkers.

Not suprisingly, that seems to be the way the world is currently

It's common knowledge that "friends with benefits" doesnt ever
work out. I hear all the time "we're such great friends,
I dont want to risk it" (although that might be a ridiculously
deceitful excuse, it might have merit some of the time).

The point is, if you're a close female friend of mine, I'd
probably really REALLY love to curl up with you on my couch
and watch back to the future, and watch you fall asleep in
my arms.

But since that's not quite acceptable without being
higher on this stupid relationship ladder than friends, and
because I'm too paranoid to risk making the step because
I already care so much, and because even if I did take the step
a complete stranger who was extremely attractive and disinterested
and aloof could easily impress someone more than a long history
of faithfulness, supportiveness and understanding ( hehe separate
issue entirely) it'll probably never happen.

So does anyone feel the same way about their relationships?

Comments: 6

06/01/04 01:40:32 - Insomnia

Welp, this is a good a time as any to update.
I'm having trouble sleeping, my schedule is all
screwy because of school. I've got class from
8am to 1pm tomorrow. Suckage.

There's really nothing to report, other than the fact
that I've been a total slacker in sending the donation
CD's off. Well not really a slacker, I just had a bunch
of crap happen that got in the way of me getting to the
post office before closing. Hopefully I'll get them this
week, before the guilt eats my soul.

I'm also really poor. Being poor sucks arse.


Anyway, this isnt a real blog, where I bitch
about stupid crap that nobody cares about, this
is a fun blog, where I post fun stuff that nobody
cares about. SO...
Comments: 1

06/01/04 01:35:44 - Spaghetti

Spaghetti - feeds like, 3 really hungry bastards or 5 - 6 normal people

Lets start simple here. Spaghetti is an easy and cheap food to make.


  • a Random amount of Spaghetti Pasta
    (you can substitute angel hair, if you like thinner noodles, and shorter cooking time)

  • Choosing the amount of spaghetti is something i've never been able to master. Really, it doesnt matter because if you make too little, you have sauce left over, you can just eat it, or put it on stuff, etc. and if you have too much, it's spaghetti, and thus cheap so throw it away. You can get a crapload of spaghetti anywhere for like 2 dollars.

  • 1-2 8 oz Cans of Hunts tomato paste

  • Ok this is where I deviate from the normal college kid ideal of Prego chunky sauce. Trust me, making your own sauce is cheaper, more fun, and tastier. And it takes marginal amount of work. They sell these at HEB for like 50 cents a piece. 2 cans is better to spread out the more expensive ingredients.

  • Some garlic

  • Garlic used to be really annoying for me. There's like all this skin on it, and you gotta take it off. Then i found a way to get it off of there without too much annoyance. Take your knife, and with the flat end, mash the garlic clovelet, then just peel the skin off easily. How much garlic you use depends on how cool you are. I use a whole thingy of garlic, like, a whole clove. One of those collections of clovelets. I dont really know what theyre called. In any case, I use one of them. Anyway, slice the clovelets into little pieces, and set aside.

  • some extra virgin olive oil

  • Here's an interesting fact. Extra virgin means, this is the oil that comes out when they FIRST squeeze the olive, so it's the most flavorful, and doesnt get heated in the press or whatever. It's worth it for the flavor. Just buy a bigass bottle of it, and it'll last forever.

  • Salt

  • NaCl, ordinary table salt you freaking moron.

  • Pepper

  • Pepper is awesome.


    Those are the totally needed ingredients. These are optional, but highly recommended:


  • Sliced mushrooms

  • Oh man mushrooms rock. you can use like, as many as you want, and they'll go great.

  • 1 can Small or medium black olives

  • Olives are awesome. Really, these should be required, but i made spaghetti once without them, and it was alright so they're optional. Small olives, because you get more per can, and theyre easier to eat.

  • MEAT

  • This should also be required but like, sometimes meat can get way expensive. Or you run out and youre freaking hungry and unshowered and don't want to go to the store, etc etc.

    2 lbs BEEF: I recommend you dont buy ground beef beef. Get Ground chuck or sirloin, because if you use regular ground beef it can get REALLY greasy, especially with the added olive oil. Use ground beef at your own risk.


    2 breasts Chicken: Not everyone knows this, but chicken is almost as good as beef when spaghetti is concerned. Chicken is remarkable for several reasons. You can get like 5 lbs of off brand frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts for around 10 bucks, and they last quite a while. The best part is they store for almost forever, and they're perfect units for cooking. Also, you can do anything with chicken. Chinese, mexican, italian, american, you name it. Ground beef doesnt work in chinese food. It takes longer to thaw. It's more expensive. Trust me, frozen chicken breasts are the way to go.

  • 1 half Onion

  • Any color, just chop it up into little pieces and set it aside, with the garlic.

  • 1 Roma Tomato

  • This is going a little crazy, and is totally unnecessary unless you want to really impress someone. Chop it up into chunks.

  • Chili peppers

  • You can use crushed red peppers, whole dried red peppers, habaneros, jalapenos, or whatever. Don't go crazy.

  • parmesan cheese

  • Shredded is the best, because it melts, but that weird green can is ok too.


    Ok, so you bought the stuff. Now you gotta cook it.

    First thing, take the frozen chicken, put it on a plate, and plop it in the microwave for 5 minutes on high. Ok, before you start bitching and say OMG YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, YER SUPPOSED TO DEFROST, Trust me, 5 minutes on high is the same thing, you wont be able to tell the freaking difference.

    Now, fill up a big pot with water, plop it on the stove, set it to high, and wait for it to boil. When it starts to boil, plop in the spaghetti. (this might happen while youre chopping, starting teh sauce, or whatever, depending on how fast you are or how much help you have). Stir them a bit every once in a while.

    While that's going on, chop everything up that I said to chop up with your knife and cutting board. Use a can opener to open the olive can, and the cans of tomato paste. You know, easy stuff. Ok, a note here. When the chicken comes out, you might want to cut it into little pieces on the cutting board, but that gets your cutting board all disgusting. What i usually do, is put the whole breasts(haha breasts) in, and chop it up with my spatula, but unless you have a hearty spatula like mine this wont work.

    When the chicken microwaving finishes, pour a little oil in your saucepan, a little, like, a capful. Doesnt have to be exact. Put your stove on medium heat, and plop the chilis, half the garlic and onions in the oil, stirring with your mighty spatula. once they start to sizzle and smell really good, keep stirring for a bit.

    Plop the chicken in. Cut it up with your spatula unless you already did, and then who cares, just stir it up for a bit. Turn up to high heat.

    Add some salt and pepper. Again, just use your judgement. If stuff starts to look a little weird or burn, add a little olive oil.

    stir stir stir and wait for the chicken to cook. Cooked chicken breast looks white and doesnt have pink in the center. So cook it. It should take a few minutes.

    Ok your chicken is cooked, whatnow? add the rest of the garlic and onion, add the olives, add the tomatoes and mushrooms. More salt and pepper.

    stir for about 20 seconds, then add the tomato paste. you'll prolly have to use a spoon to get it out of there. It'll just sit on top looking at you like WTF did you put me here for, so fill up one of the cans of tomato paste (after the tomato paste is in the saucepan) with water, and dump it in, and then fill it up halfway with water, and dump it in again.

    Now set to medium heat, and stir until the sauce is uniform consistency. then set to medium-low. Then you let it sit until the noodles are done.

    Ok, noodle doneness is one of the most hotly contested things in the history of cooking. Some people like soggy noodles that fall apart. NOT ME, damnit. I like my noodles al dente (which means firm in italian, or something). Anyway, when you think the noodles might be getting close to done, take one out, using a fork, and throw it at a wood surface, if it sticks, it might be done, if it falls on the floor, then pick it up and eat it, because you suck at cooking.

    The throwing it at wood test might not work, if your counters suck, but its fun anyway. Throw it at your roommate for a really fun time.

    Best way to test is just take a piece out of the pot, let it cool off for a sec, then try it. If it's annoying to eat, then wait some more.

    After the noodles are done, turn off that burner, then strain em using a collander. DONT WASH THEM YOU MORON. Just pour the water out. If you rinse the noodles you lose all the flavor. SO DONT DO IT. I've seen people do this and it makes me want to slap them and say something hilarious in italian.

    Now, if youre feeling brave, you can pour the sauce into the vat of noodles, or, you turn the sauce off, and serve them both separately. Make sure you dont set the noodles back down on a hot burner, because they will burn and that will suck.

    Now, put some noodles on a plate, pour sauce over it, and put some parmesean and eat some freaking spaghetti.

    That's all for tonight. I'm tired now. and hungry.
    Comments: 5

    05/09/04 11:39:41 - Platitudes!

  • Don't count your chickens before they're hatched;
    your friends will always love you in the end, even if it hurts.
    Don't spread the mayo on the bread;
    life's too beautiful to be wasted on laundry.

  • Keep your friends close and your close friends closer!
    Spit into the wind and enjoy it! Take a chance for once
    in your life, jump off a bridge with no support! Love the
    world and let the world love you, but watch out for venerial disease!

  • A man once told me a story about a dog that couldnt read.
    The dog tried and tried every day and still, he could not do it.
    The dog's master supported him the whole time, he read to him
    in bed, he read to him at breakfast, he even read to him on the
    phone while he was at work. Then one day the dog got frustrated
    and ate his master's paper. The master put him to sleep, because
    that's what love is all about. Sometimes you just have to put the
    other person to sleep, if they piss you off enough.

  • Always remember that people over 50 are robots. They are mean,
    and evil, and always vote republican, although technically they
    shouldn't be allowed to vote, because they're robots, damn it.
    Never trust them. One time this robot tried to get in front of
    me at the Department of Motor Vehicles, and I pushed it out of
    the way, because, who needs robots anyway?

  • Remember, the absolute best thing you could ever have, ever,
    is a rhinocerous machine. Not that it acts like rhinocerouses,
    or looks like one. I want a machine that makes them, so I can
    have rhinoburgers all day long, and couches made out of
    rhinoleather, and an end table made out of rhino horns.
    That would rock.


    Ok, there you have it, a bunch of meaningless drivel that you all can stick in your aim profiles to feel special. I promise its better than what you have in there now.
    Comments: 1

    05/08/04 23:08:28 - Track of the DAY! word

    Comments: 1

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