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Antiquated Diplomacy
Or
Why I don't understand why girls wear towels on their heads when they leave the shower

On campus yesterday (I won't tell you where I go to school, but it starts with "Univer" and ends with "sity of Pennsylvania"), I noticed a 'peace' rally. Not entirely unexpectedly, this hodge-podge of creatively pierced body orifices and pretentiously goofy spectacles was carrying around signs, chanting fairly obnoxiously about how we shouldn't bomb Afghanistan, how war is never good. How peace is always the solution. Well, their kind of peace anyway, where one pays 70% taxes to support those who are too stupid to find their local unemployment office, and where military spending is a thing of the past, replaced by more reasonable expenditures, like…forestation, to replace the estimated, as of May 2001, 400 tree difference between now and 1911 in the entire United States, since lumber companies actually planted more trees in 2000 than the Arbor Foundation. (They didn't say THAT in the pamphlet I got…)

I digress. Nevertheless, they were chanting about and generally raising some sort of hoopla about this peace thing, so I decided to stand there, mildly amused. They reasoned, in shrill and rather pansy-like voices, how no more lives should be lost. How peace and restraint would solve everything. Look at Gandhi and Nehru. They managed to secure India's independence without raising a single rifle.

Then look at India today. The pride of central Asia. With a whopping $2200 per capita GDP and a yearly budget deficit of almost 100% per revenue, who could NOT believe that peace was the solution. It worked so well for India, didn't it?

Anyhow, they ranted and caterwauled and denounced capitalism and logic, and eventually got to the crux of their argument: no more innocent lives should be lost!

Yes, yes, how noble. Let me man the windmill, and give it your best shot, Senor Quixote. Maybe you'll change the world. If you didn't know it, VE day would never have occurred without the fire-bombing of Dresden, non-sensically gratuitous though it was. Oh, and VJ day sans Fat Man and Little Boy, our two little fission-powered friends? Forget about it.

What will this 'peace' accomplish? For one: unrest, in the heart of every soldier of the US military. The pentagon was attacked. Do you not believe that the hearts of the men and women of our armed forces are not in turmoil? Is this peace?

How about fear? For each American who will not fly again, and who may not visit NYC again, or who may be too frightened to walk on the steps of the capitol or stride across Washington Mall. Is this peace?

Do you think it is possible to regain this without retalliation, Quixotian chivalry aside?

So spare me "War is the opposite of Peace" rubbish. Fear is the opposite of peace. Unrest is the opposite of peace. Shave your little pansy goatees, take those bloody rings out of your several orifices, and put your accursed signs away. Grieve, and lament for the lost, but don't spread your Karma in my direction.

Shinywalrus




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